The mad rush of wedding planning has led many a bride to exclaim, “We should just elope!” The idea of running off to get married – just the two of you – can seem tempting when you’re dealing with budgets, vendors, family, and friends. If you think eloping is right for you, read on for planning tips and ideas, pros and cons, and advice for some tricky situations.

What it is

The dictionary definition of “elope” is to slip away or escape; in marriage terms, it means to run away secretly with the intention of getting married, often without the consent of your parents. In the modern era, eloping doesn’t always mean there are disapproving parents, though it sometimes does. More often, couples elope when for whatever reason they want an intimate wedding, sometimes as small as just the two of them and an officiant.

Pros and Cons

Like any type of wedding you’re thinking about planning, eloping has its pros and cons. On the plus side, you get a wedding without the drama and cost of a big ceremony and reception. Depending on the type of elopement you plan, you’ll save a ton of money and have a truly intimate ceremony. If there are family conflicts on one or both sides (or between your families), eloping can prevent those problems from marring your wedding day. Other couples choose to elope if one or both sets of parents doesn’t approve of their union.

Eloping can also be romantic. There’s something tempting about running off to the courthouse or an exotic location to get married – just the two of you.

Some of the pros of eloping are also cons. A super-small wedding means you’re leaving out some of your nearest and dearest on one of the biggest days of your life. You don’t get the drama of walking down the aisle, hearing the guests gasp and seeing your spouse-to-be at the other end. In the near term, there’s a pretty good chance some people’s feelings will be hurt. In the long term, you might regret that you didn’t have a big wedding with some or all of the trimmings. The experts at weddings.about.com also point out that if either set of parents disapproved of the union, eloping makes it less likely that they’ll come around and accept your new spouse into the family.

Ideas

Modern elopements include everything from the couple who gets married at City Hall to the couple who invites a few close relatives and friends to an exotic place for a destination wedding. Some invite a handful of people to the ceremony and then go out for dinner afterward. Others hire a photographer for a photo shoot after their intimate ceremony. Still others opt to keep the wedding small and then throw a big reception once they get back from their honeymoon. Another option is to simply send “At Home” cards or wedding announcements once the big day is over to spread the news.

Etiquette

Hurt feelings: If you’re leaving important people out of your wedding day, you need to expect that feelings will be hurt. The best way to deal with this is to be honest with anyone who asks you why you’re eloping rather than hosting a big family wedding. They might not like your answers, but hopefully they’ll respect your honesty.

Registering: If you’re not inviting your loved ones to the party, it’s not appropriate to register for gifts. Sure, when some people hear about your marriage, they might send you a gift, and if they ask what you’d like, it would be OK in that circumstance to tell them. As always, when you get a wedding gift from someone, send a thoughtful thank you card as soon as you can.

Resources

http://weddings.about.com/cs/bridesandgrooms/a/Eloping.htm

http://www.letsrunoff.com/

http://www.squidoo.com/eloping

http://www.groomgroove.com/the_engagement/eloping.php